Platter of Half Baked Ideas

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will preve nt you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache. -- "I don't have to be what somebody else wants me to be, and I am not afraid to be what i want to be." ---- G

Enhancing Relationships . . . Trust.. TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation. A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- No Pointing Fingers.. A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a

Thoughts on Advertising Advertising is the fine art of convincing people that debt is better than frustration. Advertising helps raise the standard of living by raising the standard of longing. Advertising transforms a yawn into a yearn. Advertising must be effective. The other day my son was saying grace and he thanked God for this daily, slow-rising, butter- crusted, vitamin-enriched bread. One of life's biggest disappointments is discovering that the person who writes the ads for the bank is not the one who makes the loans. An ad executive's career: Yes sir, No sir, Ulcer. If you think advertising doesn't work, consider the millions of people who now think that yogurt tastes good. (Joe L. Whitley) You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements. (Norman Douglas) Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted. The trouble is, I don't know which half. (John Wanamaker) WONDER for YOUR WEEK: Is an epitaph an advertisement for

Letting go To let go: Doesn't mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it myself To let go: Is not to cut myself off, it is the realization that I can't control another To let go: Is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences To let go: Is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands To let go: Is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself To let go: Is not to care for, but to care about To let go: Is not to fix, but be supportive To let go: Is not to judge, but allow another to be human To let go: Is not to be in the middle arranging outcomes, but to allow others to effect their own outcomes To let go: Is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality To let go: Is not to deny, but to accept Is not to nag, scold, or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them To let go: Is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish the mom

Life's Little Instruction Book Have a firm handshake. Look people in the eye . Sing in the shower. Own a great stereo system. Keep secrets. Never give up on anybody . Miracles happen everyday. Always accept an outstretched hand. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference. Avoid sarcastic remarks. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out. Never deprive someone of hope ; it might be all that they have. When playing games with ! children, let them win. Give people a second chance, but not a third. Be romantic. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for your convenience, not the