One Liners

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

It's not the fall that kills you. It's the suddenstop at the end.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.(hmm ? now do we have statistics to prove this ?)

Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of yourtime.

When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.

Born free taxed to death. (You need to start working to realize this one ! )

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paper work.

A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

The hardest part of skating is the ice.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills? (Applause !!!)

If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars inthe universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell him apark bench has just been painted, he has to touch itto be sure.

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.

If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law ofBurnt Fingers

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people inlarge groups. ( NEVER ! )

Someday is not a day of the week.


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